In case you don’t know, I’m 65 years old.

I’m about to turn 66 next month.

None of this bugs me.

I still have my health. This is due to a combination of making some decent choices along the way and pure dumb luck. I realize that there are people who make ALL the right choices; diet, exercise & sleep. They stretch, do yoga, meditate, wear sunscreen, avoid dairy and GMOs and gluten and alcohol. And then they get struck down by some random illness or accident or just some stupid genetic defect.

I’ve fallen into some pretty good gigs, both in performing arts and in corporate America. So I’ve kept my head above water from a supporting myself perspective. Not rich, not broke. Cool.

I have, as I’ve mentioned before. Friends who are way better than my behavior merits. And I appreciate this , though I seldom let them know it.

So I don’t have it bad. And I recognize that. So this is not a “poor me” blog. It’s more of an observation. And maybe a reflection on our culture here in the US of A.

I’m invisible to some people.

Generally these people are young. Significantly younger than me. And they can, literally, see me. But they look right through me, walk right by me. There’s a great song from the the musical “Chicago” called “Mr. Cellophane” that I almost quoted just now;

“Cellophane, Mister Cellophane
Shoulda been my name, Mister Cellophane
Cause you can look right through me, walk right by me
And never know I’m there.”

It’s like that.

I think I see it clearly because in performing arts, you are part of a cast of performers for a set amount of time. 2 months, 6 months, in this current case, a year and a half. But then you switch to a different group of people. And since I turned 50-ish, and have usually been one of the, if not THE oldest cast member, there has been a certain percentage of the younger people I work with who simply don’t acknowledge my existence. I’m just not pertinent to them. I don’t listen to the same music or watch the same movies. My perspective on life and work is completely different. I’m not funny to them*. I’m not interesting intellectually and certainly not sexually, so I’m not really relevant.

*NOTE; I am, actually, hilarious. But only to about 5%-10% of the population.

Now, if you know me, I know what you’re thinking. “Bob, you are the biggest loner I know. You don’t give people a chance to be friendly” I dispute that. Not the “loner” part, but that I don’t give people as chance. When I meet people in a new cast, I will try to find some reason to compliment each one of them, to break the ice, if you will.

“I love your voice”

“You really kill it in that scene”

Things like that. However, it is true that I don’t keep that door open very long. If you ignore me more than a few times, I do definitely write you off. I don’t hate you. That takes way too much energy. But I place you into that niche and don’t let the fact that you ignore me impact my day.

I don’t think that in the last 5 years I have been a part of a cast where this hasn’t been the case. Luckily for me, as I stated above, I am a loner. I can and do exist on my own for long periods of time.

But it still stings, from time to time. And I’ve seen other people in my age range who feel it far more than I do. I’ve actually discussed it with some of those folks. I feel for them. If you’re going to do what we do, which is existing as an old person in a young person’s game, you’re going to run into it.

There really isn’t a fix. These people aren’t going to suddenly value older folks. And calling them out or trying to shame them isn’t going to do a thing. Except give them another reason to pull away. At an audience talkback I was invited to recently, someone asked “Since you are older and more experienced, do younger performers come to you as a mentor?”.

I almost laughed out loud.

Do I have people in these shows who I consider friends? Absolutely. Are there young folks among that number? Yup. And that’s where my energy goes. And again, this is not a “poor me” thing. It’s just something that has been a part of my life for a while now and I wanted to hash it out, so to speak. And you, my friends, get to experience my “hash”.

Sorry about that.

So, how to wrap this up.

I don’t think this is just a performing arts thing. But because we as older performers are, well, forced to interact with groups that are primarily younger, we just see it more clearly. It’s part of doing what I do, at least these days. Do I occasionally miss working with the folks I spent so much time with, in Southern California, who I shared so much time and creativity with, as well as parties, bars, trips to Vegas, etc.? Yeah, I do. We worked together because we chose to work together, because we respected each other, and grew into a community. Yeah, I miss that. But life moves on. To reiterate, I’m lucky to be where I am, doing what I do. I’ve met some very cool folks, and am regularly amazed at the talent I see and work with on a daily basis. And maybe I would enjoy getting to know some of the other folks…

…but that’s invisibility for you.

Talk Later,

Bob