The best boss I ever had was a woman.

Not unusual, I know. I won’t name her because she has never asked me to include her in these blogs. Not everyone is the attention whore that I appear to be. But I know the next question that you might well ask.

“Why, Bob? Why was she the best?”

That’s a good question. Part of it might be that I found out, while traveling with her to Brazil, that she was 420 friendly and trusted me with that knowledge. She even offered me the opportunity to partake. I don’t, anymore. Something about the idea of inhaling smoke into the instrument I use to be creative / make a living. But I appreciated the offer and the faith it implied.

Part of it could be her “work hard / play hard” mentality. We worked long hours at times, but always found time to enjoy whatever spot we occupied in the world. Even if it meant spending am extra day or two in some idyllic spot, making sure that we created the best possible event for our clients….uh-huh.

But to me, the most compelling reason she had the influence on me that she had was positivity. I don’t know if she always had faith in me. But she always gave me the impression that she did. Her direction, and often re-direction of me, was always delivered in a positive manner.

“Hey, I like your idea. It might even work better if we,,,,,,(fill in the blank)”

“You’re a Global Brand Ambassador (whatever that was) .Let’s go on a little shopping expedition to update your look”. ..on the company dime.

“The affiliate market wants you to fly to Bali and teach fitness classes on the beach? Of course you should.”

Were there more direct , umm, directions from time to time. Of course. I am impulsive at the best of times, and sometimes would take a remarkably wrong turn. And I got called into her office more than once for a “come to Jesus” message. But even those were delivered with the understanding that she was talking to someone she respected. And that respect was very, very, mutual.

I never, in the 6 years or so that I worked under her direction, felt like I was being over criticized, or micro-managed. I think that is even more valuable when it comes to creative people, which is what I guess I am. And when I watched a subsequent manager systematically dismantle and dishearten the team I helped build through negative, blunt criticism and micromanagement, it broke my heart. Shoot down and verbally denigrate any individual’s ideas, in front of the entire team, and watch those creative people shut down, I watched it. And I was a part of it. I stopped contributing my ideas, and after a while stepped away from the team ( ie put in my 2 weeks notice), Specifically because of that. There was no other reason . I had a good job. Good money, good working conditions, a great team. But I couldn’t watch it any more and I couldn’t fix it.

OK, enough of the dark side. I lived through it and moved on to better things, No reason to live life looking in the rearview…

…but I digress…

In my creative life, I’ve had a number of wonderful mentors. One was a director who was great at direction by asking questions.

Where do you think you are in this scene? Why do you think he acts the way he acts, or does the things he does? And we would discuss my feelings and her perspective as well. Another director was very passionate about everything he directed. The piece mattered deeply to him. Our discussions could become loud, or even heated, But I never felt disrespected, and he always listened as well as talked.

In other words, in both cases, our work was collaborative. I felt like my perspective was valued. That is vital to any creative process, at least in my opinion. Not every experience in the theatrical world has been like that. And I’ve been surprised and disappointed a number of times, thinking that the perceived “level” of the work would imply that there would be that level of respect.

Oh well. Water under the bridge and all that.

Now, how about a list of the benefits of positive reinforcements, Bob!

OK, since you asked:

– Long-Term Behavior Change: Positive reinforcement encourages the repetition of desirable behaviors, leading to lasting habits rather than just short-term compliance.
– Boosts Confidence and Self-Esteem: Receiving praise or rewards makes individuals feel valued, competent, and confident.
– Builds Positive Relationships: It fosters trust and respect, particularly in education or working environments, rather than fear of consequences.
– Increases Intrinsic Motivation: Focuses on the reward, which promotes happiness and dopamine release, leading to a desire to repeat the positive action.
– Fosters a Positive Environment: Encourages a more enjoyable and productive environment compared to the stress associated with avoiding negative consequences.
– Teaches New Skills Efficiently: It is more effective at teaching new, complex skills by reinforcing small positive steps rather than just preventing errors.

OK, so ends the lecture. I’m home, at least for the next 2 weeks. I’m performing at the local venue, (the Aronoff Center, if you must know) I’m catching up with some great folks and sleeping in my own bed. My batteries are recharging on a number of levels. And maybe, just maybe, I’ll get back on the regular contributor to this site train. But til next time,

Talk Later,

Bob