Again, a sign of how time flies when you are happily ranting to people via blog space about Wellness, Fitness & anything else that comes to my simple little mind. The 5th annual Top 10 gifts for that fitness friend, fitness family member or non-fitness person you have to buy for but don’t really like. Non-fitness people don’t tend to dig fitness gifts. They either think it’s a message ( “Start making better choices, donut-boy”) or it’s like the veggie plate at a party. Everyone comments on it, but it’s still there, virtually untouched, while people are desperately trying to make a snack out of the wreckage of the Swedish meatballs and the cheeseball.
Appreciated but not loved.
The story of my life…
…but I digress…
OK, so here, in no particular order, are my top 10 things to get that fitness dude or dudette, with a few honorable mentions thrown in this year.
10. Steel Smart Water Bottle
$65 at Amazon
Sixty bucks for a water bottle? Yeah, but.. this smart bottle syncs to an app on their phone where they can track their daily intake; if they haven’t sipped in a while, they’ll not only get an alert to drink, the water bottle will glow until they take a chug. The latest version includes a rechargeable battery and fast-charging cable, so your, uh, water bottle won’t need to be charged as often…in case that’s been an issue.
9. Balance Board
$80 at Amazon
This fitness balance board looks fun, but also presents a serious challenge any fitness guru will be excited to take on. Its strategically unsteady surface helps to strengthen core balance, coordination, body control, and more.
And by “more”, I think they mean falls, ambulances, emergency rooms & traction.
8. Cold Terrain “Hooded” Gloves
Whether they’re training for a marathon or just going on their early morning runs, these running gloves will come in handy, (get it? “Handy/Gloves”. Marketing genius) They have tech-friendly fingertips, a four-way stretch for a comfy fit, and they are reflective . Plus, the water-repellent hood will protect fingers on rainy days.
So I’m buying gloves with mittens to put over the gloves in case it rains.
7.Daily Harvest Gift Box
$85 at Daily Harvest
Make meal planning easier than ever by gifting someone a nine-cup box from Daily Harvest. They’ll get to choose whatever smoothies, bowls, soups, lattes, and bites they prefer, so you know they’ll be properly fueled before and after their workouts. I got nothing clever or snarky. Decent, healthy meals on order. Sounds good to me.
6. Lightweight Dog Backpack
$40 at Amazon
$19 at Chewy
According to the marketing folks for this little item; ” Whether hiking, running, or biking ( dog/ biking?), if your dog is your sidekick for outdoor fitness, this dog backpack is a must. It has four pockets to store food, water, and, most importantly, treats for your furry BFF. . It’ll give your dog a sense of contribution, and lighten your load.”
OK, First, if your dog is your sidekick & your BFF, getting your dog a backpack might not be your biggest issue. In fact, this might make your dog issues even deeper. Second, are you really so lazy that you are going to make your dog carry your cell phone & water bottle? Also, it does NOT give your dog a “sense of contribution”. Just ask him / her. If you think they answered, refer back to issue #1.
5. Original Peloton Bike
$1445 at Amazon
It has tons of features to give you the best home workout experience including a 10-point multitouch touchscreen, plus a rear-facing stereo system. Plus it’s compact design allows it to fit comfortably in any home. Also you have access to thousands of classes when you purchase a Peloton All-Access Membership.
The $1445 doesn’t include the Peloton All Access Membership?
4. Grip Socks
$10 at Amazon
I LOVE grippy socks! I have these and love using them around the house. Lighter than shoes but not as slippery as regular socks. They are great for yoga AND if you’re one of the “lift in your socks” people, these are the shizzle my…, well, you know. Good stuff. 10 bucks. Hells yeah.
SPECIAL AWARD – BEST NAME Penetrex ‘Intensive Concentrate Cream
A direct quote from the advertising. “Sometimes a solid workout leaves you feeling sore. You and your gym buddy will appreciate this long-lasting therapy cream”. I know it’s a “Tiger Balm-ish” cream, but c’mon…
3. The “I ran the marathon” candle
$45 at Literiecandle.com
This Literie candle is a burning reminder of the time they ran a marathon. It’s made with a vegan soy and coconut blend and has notes of oakmoss and amber for an earthy smell that’ll remind them of running in the great outdoors.
As someone who has run several marathons….
…vegan soy & coconut blend….
…notes of oak moss and amber…
…WT actual F??
2. The Hypersphere Mini Massage Ball
$99 at REI
Gift someone relief with the miniature version of the Hypersphere, a vibrating massage ball that helps to ease muscle tension and increase range of motion and flexibility. Smaller than the original, it can reach more target spots with three high-intensity vibration settings. And at 3 inches in diameter and just 1 pound, it’s easy to pack for whenever someone needs it.
Vibrating massage ball. Smaller. Can reach more spots. 3 settings. Plus flashing lights.
Ease muscle tension? Sure…
SPECIAL PRIZE- TOTALLY RANDOM
Motivational Gym Lover Spoon
$19 Amazon , Walmart
A Spoonful Of Strength ” are unique gift for the gym person you don’t want to miss this holiday season. This high-quality spoon is engraved using an industrial standard engraving machine.
I don’t understand.
I just don’t.
And finally, what has become a recurring, legacy member of the Top 10 list
1. Nutrilite Double X
$59 for 31 day supply, Amway
With 12 essential vitamins, 10 essential minerals and 22 nutrients from colorful fruits, vegetables and herbs packed into every tablet, Carefully crafted with your optimal health in mind, this ultimate multivitamin helps support energy, heart, brain, eyes, skin, bones, immune and cellular health with over 40 nutrients to support healthy aging and vitality.
It’s a great player in a sometimes shady game, and listing it makes my friend Sam happy. You’re welcome Sam.
OK, that’s the list. Give them a look, and maybe give someone the gift of Wellness this year.
Or an excuse to make their dog carry their water bottle…..lazy shmuck.