One of the cool things about growing up in my home were the books. Whatever else my parents did or did not believe in, we believed in reading. We had the Encyclopedia Brittanica, popular back in the days where you didn’t have the all the accumulated knowledge of the world in your phone. And we had the collected works of O’Henry, Thoreau, Poe & Mark Twain, among others. I read all of it. Yes, that includes the entire Encyclopedia. Cuz I was cool like that. In an introverted bibliophile sort of way. I loved Twain’s sense of humor. It was blunt, raw and manifestly un-PC.
But I’ll get back to him later…

I was on a short vacation to Los Angeles this week. Or more exactly, the north Orange County city of Fullerton. I lived there for many years and it was great to catch up with friends, run some familiar trails and drink way too much good red wine. A fun trip all around, but all good things must come to an end so yesterday morning Ieft the AirBNB, returned the rental car and started what was supposed to be a simple, 1-stop trip back to Cincinnati. Orange County to Dallas/Ft.Worth to Covington, Ky. ( yes, the Greater Cincinnati airport is in Kentucky. Go figure)

2 days before I left, I got a text from the fine folks at American Airlines telling me that the was some “ potentially disruptive weather” and I could change my flights without a charge for the change. I thought about it enough to take a look at options. And the alternatives offered didn’t have a “charge for the change” , but they darn sure had an up charge for the flights, starting at $269. I then looked at the weather for Dallas and it said, basically, scattered showers.
To my mind an obvious play for extra cash. No thanks, I don’t need to spend an extra $269 for your possible disruption.

Anybody getting a premonition out there?

So I get to the airport 2 hours early, cause that’s what I do. I get on the plane for a 12:56 departure. Umm, no. Because of weather disruption at DFW (Dallas/Fr.Worth airport) we’ll be sitting on the plane until we take off at 3:00pm. OK. So that’s going to make things very tight with my connection, and I’m sitting in 32C, the 2nd last row. Hmm… Oh well, that’s air travel. That’s why you give yourself time, blah, blah, blah.
So we take off at 3:00. During the flight I find out that my connection has been cancelled. But, good news, they moved my reservation to a later flight, the last one of the day. It doesn’t depart until 10:24, and we should touch down around 9:30.
These things happen.

I’m not done.

With about an hour left in the flight, the Captain comes on to tell us that because of the storms / turbulence we have encountered (And we did. Like Orville Redenbacher type turbulence) Because of this, we need to stop for gas.
Umm, what?
No. I need to stop for gas on my way to the store . Or back from the gym. You’re telling me American Airlines figured “ eh, they’ll probably make it. I mean it’s just Dallas.” like I do when I’m on “E”but I’m just going to the Kroger in Newport. (grocery store in N.Kentucky. Sorry for the topical reference).
So yeah, we’re going to stop real quick in Tulsa and top things off. While we’re there, since we’re pretty much gonna miss everyone’s connection, if you want to get off, in Tulsa, and think you can make better plans, go ahead. But you can’t get back on.

I thought about it. There was a flight the day morning from Tulsa to Cincinnati, but it wasn’t with American, and my connection at DFW had just been delayed until 11:24pm. So why pay for a flight. So I get home at 2:30 am. Big deal. I sleep in my own bed, get up when I get up, get a run in and go to the event that I changed my vacation to attend. So quit your whining, relax ( as much as you can relax in economy) and wait it out. And yes, people did get off there, so there was more room for us. Cool.

Im not done.

So we fill’her up. Check the oil, whatever, and we’re back on our way. Touchdown at DFW around 10:30-ish & I make my way to my gate. I get in line, because tho I’ve been told I’ve been rebooked, I don’t have a boarding pass. So I grab one real quick.

Not so fast my friend.

It seems because I haven’t “checked in”, while on the previous flight, they have assigned my seat to a standby customer.
What?
How was I supposed….when…?

”Go stand over there and as we are boarding I’ll see what I can do”.
Im standing with 4 other people. We’re all in the same boat of potentially not being in the same plane.

Because we didn’t check in.
After they changed our flights.

WE are not happy. But it all becomes academic because…5 mins before boarding…? ( oh yes)

CANCELLED

It’s 11:30. And the one gate agent just makes the announcement, says “go to the American desk or call this number”and she is peace out ✌️.

The line at the desk is longer than the Taylor Swift merch line was in Cincinnati when she was in town.
OK , let’s try the phone #.
And you know what, I get a person! Cool. Didn’t expect it. Small victory.
This person tells me that there are no flights from Dallas to Cincinnati on Friday. All full.
OK, let’s try Dayton, Louisville, Indy, Columbus…?
I can get you to Dayton late Friday or Louisville Saturday PM. Cincinnati on Sunday.

“So I can fly in Dayton Friday or Louisville Saturday , rent a car and drive to Greater Cincinnati airport to pick up my car, or I can stay in a hotel in Dallas until Sunday. Is that what you’re telling me?”

”Umm no sir, Dayton just sold out”.

I might have lost it a bit then. I’m afraid some of the language I used, in that public place, might have been , umm, offensive?
After venting, I took the Sunday option. But I had an ulterior motive.
Expedia.

I got on, looked up one way flights from DFW to CVG (Cincinnati) and found a flight on United. Dallas to N. Jersey to Cincinnati. Leaves DFW at 6:30 am on Friday ( today).
Don’t ask how much it cost.

But this had become a contest. God, the weather and American Airlines was trying to stop me from getting to a Friday night community event where I’m not even necessarily singing, just being there. But dammit, if it’s on, it’s on.
Booked it.

I’m not done.

Now it’s 12 midnite. I’m at the airport. I have to be back at the airport at 5:00am for a 6:30 flight. So I could get maybe 4 hours of sleep if I can get my butt to a hotel real quick. I walk towards to ground transportation while getting on Booking.cam I find a hotel near the airport. Book a room while I’m in line. Jump in the cab, 50 bucks later I’m at the hotel.
Where the front desk lady tells me they do NOT. have a room for me.
“How can you not? I booked it. I paid for it.” “Well we’ve been fully booked for the last couple days. You’ll have to take it up with with your provider”

You bet I did.

Right there . In the hotel lobby. With the front desk women cheering me on. The dude from Booking told me “ We need to try to contact the hotel ( the hotel I’m SITTING IN). If they don’t respond in 30 mins we’ll try to make other arrangements “

”WHAT OTHER ARRANGEMENTS? THE LADY IS RIGHT HERE! CAN TELL YOU. NO ROOMS! ( calming myself)

I don’t want to find another hotel. It’s 1am. I have to be at the airport at 5:00. Another hotel is not worth my FREAKING TIME!

He still waited 30 mins. Then issued the refund. I think. ( I’ll check when I get home)

I call the taxi guy. A cool dude from Rwanda. He comes back for me. 50 bucks later I’m back at DFW. In the baggage claim. Waiting for security to open. Trying to sleep. Have you seen those people curled up sleeping at the airport. You know what they are?

Young.
I contorted myself in chairs with arms, on the marble floor (cold). Then, finally, gratefully, security opened.

I’m in New Jersey now. Should be getting on my flight to Cincinnati in 30 mins. Get back to CVG at 4:30, pick up my car, go home, throw myself in the shower, go to my event.

Suck it, God, the weather and American Airlines.

Oh, that’s right. Mark Twain.
He wrote a marvelous story called “The McWilliamsons and the Burglar Alarm” about a family’s battle with installing an alarm system in their home. It ends like this ( with apologies to the PETA friendly among you.

“I took the whole thing out and traded it off for a dog, and shot the dog.”

I know, I know. But funny is funny. And Mark was funny.

Oh, so else what have I learned? That Sometimes $269 is damn cheap.
OK, boarding soon.

Talk later,

Bob